Many of us grow up under the wings of our parents, protecting, sheltering, and caring for their little babies. We are their most prized processions, their precious creations, and nothing is more comforting to our parents than to know that we are safe and making good decisions. One of the hardest moments in the lives of parents is watching their children break free from their continuous care and support. Whether its for high school, college, moving out of the house after moving back in from college, or traveling the world, parents experience the traumatic feeling of not having constant control over their children's lives. For many parents, it is hard to accept the idea that their child will no longer be in their everyday lives, no longer having to send them off into the day with a bagged lunch and a kiss, and acknowledging the fact that they are slowly departing from their parental control. For Kate, in the article "Crazy Jewish Mom" her unnamed mother has a hard time letting go of the constant control over her daughters life. The article depicts the intimate relationship between a Jewish mother and her 26 year old daughter and the texts that she sends Kate, often referencing her love life, age, and weight. Her mother finds a way to interfere into Kate's life by setting up a JDate account and talking to men posing as Kate, constantly nudging her to work out, and making sure that she is as close to Kate (quite literally) at all times.
For Kate, her mothers incessant texts are somewhat of a role model for the parent that she desires to be for her children. It's true that many parents discipline their children based off of the way they were raised and taught to behave. Similar morals and guidelines are often passed down from parent to child because it is the most familiar and they serve as a model for future generations. Sometimes, we need a little nudge in the right direction, a guidance to help us stay on track, but there are many times when we struggle to separate these "guidelines" from our own, honest decisions. For Kate, she is going to have to learn to live her own life, to create her own path and to use her mothers criticism not only as a reassurance of her love and care, but also to help point her in a direction that she may not have acknowledged. Even though she constantly receives advice from her mother, it doesn't mean that she has to agree or live by her words. The ability to understand her mothers position in supporting her, acknowledging her opinions, and then forming a life based on her own values, is extremely nurturing. As for Kate's mom, she will need to realize that the only life that she can control is her own, and that the best thing for her daughter is her independence.
For Kate, her mothers incessant texts are somewhat of a role model for the parent that she desires to be for her children. It's true that many parents discipline their children based off of the way they were raised and taught to behave. Similar morals and guidelines are often passed down from parent to child because it is the most familiar and they serve as a model for future generations. Sometimes, we need a little nudge in the right direction, a guidance to help us stay on track, but there are many times when we struggle to separate these "guidelines" from our own, honest decisions. For Kate, she is going to have to learn to live her own life, to create her own path and to use her mothers criticism not only as a reassurance of her love and care, but also to help point her in a direction that she may not have acknowledged. Even though she constantly receives advice from her mother, it doesn't mean that she has to agree or live by her words. The ability to understand her mothers position in supporting her, acknowledging her opinions, and then forming a life based on her own values, is extremely nurturing. As for Kate's mom, she will need to realize that the only life that she can control is her own, and that the best thing for her daughter is her independence.
Do you think this issue is especially pronounced for Jewish mothers?
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, Jasmine. I too, believe that mothers have a hard time letting go of their children, especially as they get older. As for Jewish mothers, they're constantly urging their children to extend the family tree, more people to carry the heritage. It's a crucial part of Judaism to have a large family, and although Kate's mother's texts were very harsh, her desire for grandkids and the extension of a Jewish family were really the aspects she wanted to portray.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog post jasmine!! It's really insightful. I think that independence is such an important thing, especially when you're 26 years old! Your parents should trust you and know that you're old enough and smart enough to make your own decisions. I think that Kate's mother is overbearing because it's all that she knows. She is probably raising Kate in a similar way that she was raised, and doesn't know any better
ReplyDelete